Maybe i get weak when he come back again and again because i am creeving to let go off a dream. PLEASE, DONT TAKE IT AS AN EXUSE, NC should be implemented, because WATEVER INTENTIONS ARE ONE CANNOT STAY IN RELATIONSIPS WITH BPD. I was attracted because i was in a new city on a new career path and she was funny, outgoing, caring and exactly my type physically. First, i just want to say, like most i have spent many a sleepless night trawling the internet and reading books, i came across your blog very early on when desperate for knowledge and it is so crucial that the information we first fall up on is correct. They must devalue and discard their victims because once they are no longer able to absorb and internalize the narcissists self-hate, the narcissist is forced to find a new receptacle. Everyday its a struggle to get back to myself and he has caused so much emotional damage. I left my relationship and moved to another state to escape my situation. well I talked with a number of people about this universally they took the view that I needed to 2) accept it kind of placed me in a situation where their support was conditional on my taking this risk at this same time my current book began to mewes on similar lines I am reading: Summa Technologiae by Stanisaw Lem, https://silkred.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/10906319_10152736870728495_4971952455049889714_n.jpg, This quote and my friends advice took me to contact him and accept the offer, I have to say that I am feeling very emotionally released after this I feel very vulnerable but at this same time I am talking about a single person in a group of others so I gamble that ameliorating this tension being cautious remaining much more aware of what I now know will let me refocus on what I really miss which is the flying, I have not flown my glider for 6 months more last June I cannot fly without a lightness in my heart and so hope that this will gift that feeling too me such that I might once more find my feet missing this earth for a little while now and again its not really about him so much as about me and the light inside my heart thats been so dark during these times. Cry, scream, get up, hug ur son, cry some morethere will be months of crying and feeling good then feeling bad again, missing him. Take care" Then I blocked her number . Still dont know how to explain that to him. This was via email. But I know now. From that point on things seemed to degrade (i.e. He also seemed to get off on the attention he would receive on FB from him almost all female friends list. I know logically who he is (the therapist who we had seen together informed me the other day that my ex is actually very sociopathic and rare and this is a guy whose specialty is abusive, angry men)so I know on paper who and what he isyet WHY cant I get him OUT of my heart? Pictures of them in her bed and how much of a man he was between the sheets. Certainly dont miss the drama. Focus on healing and getting physically and mentally healthy to avoid any future Ns. NO ONE he knows has seen me, I dont go places I know he goes to, I avoid certain roads at certain times of the day, etc. Ive done tons of research and believe him to be a Covert Narcissist, which is a little more complicated, because he believes his own hype. Some cannot be treated. A full-on communication stop after a breakup is rare these days. This is the biggest mistake you can make when going no contact with your narcissist. Yes I did tell him i know he is a narc and i also told the girlfriend that she is in triangulation and she defended that of course, cause she thinks he is wonderful to the point where she told my children that failure of marriage was my fault. See if they can provide you with transitional housing until you can get on your feet. Reblogged this on BEEN TO HELL & BACK BECAUSE I FOUND THE EXITS and commented: They are jealous & envious of YOU, they literally want EVERYTHING that you are & you have, including your SOUL I told him I really didnt care what he said about me because I know who I am and happy with myself. Unlike alot of other stories Ive read; he treated me pretty well for the 2 years we were together. I love this app especially since any number on your blocked list wont go to voicemail. we first met in 2008 and our last communication was in April 2014). I remain perpetually on the fence about him! Kim, is it safe to say that one of the main differences between a NPD and BPD (besides the fear of abandonment) is that BPD behavior is more on the non-malignant side and NPD IS malignant? Did the narcissist leave you for a new love and is now having second thoughts? Thank you. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. Lose the Loser! Uncovering the Mystery Behind Narcissism Youll Be Shocked! I relented once or twice and regretted it. I need it. I was always the one who would make first contact. Anyway, I told his mom after that conversation that I was not going to just give it to her as my reason for selling it was for the money cause the ex left me with no money or job but if she wanted to buy it, she could like any other person. Hes like so you dont care about the kids? Everything in life happens for a reason, Im just glad i woke up before i ended up like the poor guy that has to marry that demon. But Im just taking it one day at a time, but you are right I will survive I do know that. Thank you for sharing your story, James. Every time I try and get over it and move on and I feel like Im getting somewhere he reappears. Do you wanna know what it is? Matt, you need to block her on FB. Because its not WHO I CHOOSE TO BE. He didnt acknowledge anything and said I was slandering him (typical) and blamed me essentially for all of his bad behavior. Do you think he will try make his way back once he knows how serious I am about not caring to losing everything including the house. Narcissists are vultures, they dont want anything from anyone other thannarcissistic supply, and if youre not giving it to them, youre of no value. I set these goal for myself: Relevant!! Like everyone else I struggle with the horrible feeling of missing her and thinking about her all the time.plus 3 months ago my mom passed away too to add on top of things. And he is holding on, believing I am the love of his life. Why was he not discarded as quick as me? Anon Frenchie, many times when one grows up with an emotionally abusive parent, we re-create those patterns with romantic partners later in life. I am in the same boat. I wish there were more male posters, because women with narcissistic traits are just as prevalent, and often more dangerous. Why is this important?? In many cases, they are even harder to get over. They may just reel you back in and it all starts again until you defy them and you are discarded all over again. He also allowed an ex (who lived in another country) to keep believing that she had a chance with him. its not fair that you de-friended me on FB. No, his initals werent IF It took me a long time to heal, too, because for one, I didnt realize at the time that my Ex is a Narcissist, so I didnt know to look for applicable healing resources. I dont reflect his favorite version of himself back to him anymore, and I think he worries that he will have to face a more reality based version when he sees me now. Advice please, and why now feel the need to tell me or try warn me off?? The pieces of this insane puzzle will never come together and you may never truly understand what she was thinking or feeling for you. I have cut contact from him again (following several arguments culminating in him threatening to contact the police because I apparently disrespected him); but it has been getting difficult to keep the ties cut, but this article has motivated me to stay away from his damaging behaviours and to have more respect for myself. throwing his best friend up in my face how she was loyal to him . My ex claimed he wasnt having sex with his new supply six months after they got together. I seen a picture of him and he was pretty average in the looks department. If you counted how many times he used the word I, you'd roll your eyes. Is that possible with a family that is as religious as you guys? Every single action employed by the narcissist stems from a pathological need to control others. Maybe a couple of conversations will be amazing, but dont let on they are. There are many professionals who do treat narcissists successfully. Hello, It is good to read en find people who can relate to this issues. That is her prerogative to change hers for sure. I mean after all she has done to me I really am sorry for her pain. It is a shock to one to realize that you were not in the real world at age 60. If anyone is in denial its him. Its a grieving process, just like grieving a death, loss of home, loss of job, etc., and youll need to go through all the stages. The end of our relationship with them was likely horrific in some way. I researched NPD and sure enough- totally described my husband. But lets say he calls or texts, then what? They rarely let their mask slip completely. No i am letting go. I am getting back up and know about a couple of days i am back me again. 3. It lasted a week and I kicked him out. I think they see the vulnerability, the good in people and exploit it. But sadly I dont see that happening. I doubt it seriously, but thanks for the input. Its difficult to comprehend that the person I was with was an imposter. Thank you. Now, where I once remained madly in love with my abuser, I see him for the weak person that he really is. Also a person who I do not know personally contacted me and told me I was brave to return. He literally left my bed one night and was in hers the next. The list goes on. Hi Carole. So be careful. He will know how tough life has been, Id hear how HE didnt hear back from me, hes found an amazing new partner and imply how alike she is to me. They leave you spinning, wondering what happened, without a period to the end of that sentence. Email only contact about Only childs needs issues happenings cut man out of all your social media by filtering through current accounts to start fresh with health boundaries work on Your Ideas for Personal Boundaries with Counselor and read as many blogs as you can do not give up for your child and you You know what you know about him get a UPS address its a physical address and inform a local Domestic Violence Shelter for ideas, support, advocacy too. From the perspective of a narcissist, it makes sense. I needed support for the situation with my mother. I told him that I was sick. I have a protection order but he doesnt care. Without you I feel hollow. He is cluster B. Sometimes they come back to see if they can still mess with your mind but once they see you are on to them and they cant convince you to side with them anymore, they usually slither away. Why? -Highly romantic in words; cannot walk the talk Ughh. This is my first encounter with a narcissist. Usually they are very emotional people, but their emotion is so great, that they find it hard to see where you are coming from simply because they are constantly dealing with their own inner turmoil. I want you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for you. If this ex returns, it will NOT be good for you, no matter wha. I also fell for his creativity and intellect. Heartbreaking isnt it? Just left spinning, not knowing what hit us, But if you dig real deep & can manage to think through the brainwashing & brain fog, the one thing they cant and will never be able to take from us is our ability to Love. In simple, the narcissist creates a belief in you (even without your knowledge) that you are unsuitable for any relationship. I get it. I am now 53, please god let him be the final one. Hes shown you his true nature, and that will never change, as you know. Thats the tough part. Thanks you all for the helpful advise. Its an intern fight where Always negative emotion comes above. Couples would be present, but still no invitation came my way. Let's do a quick recap, The are three prevalent thoughts that your ex is likely to think about if they don't contact you. They usually do, whether sooner or later. Flip the script and replace him. They dont know half of whats been going on. This fallout is something I will deal with on a daily basis for the rest of my life and theirs and it breaks my heart. I know what that feels like. So, by being straight and cutting him out for good, you took back the power. Also, my husbands girlfriend was beaten very badly by her alcoholic ex and she has a special needs child. Ive been reading about this all morning. lol, In response to dating other women of this type, I have dated women like this before but only a couple. My heart goes out to you. But i wont bite the apple again. it makes me sad.. i pitty him but he can use this agains me when the monster comes back. How she was never to blame and how I wasnt really her type. Just sending you my hugs and hope that things will get better. You will thank yourself in the morning. Peace I wish you luck. I tried to force myself to like a guy or date and I got nothing as if I channneled the narcissist and this must be how he feels. This is about THEM, All they need us for is to use us, lie to us, be nasty to us, verbally, emotionally & in some cases physically abuse us & dump all their hatred onto us, to make them feel bigger, stronger & better about themselves, and its all not their fault really He said I was thinking stupid and that there was nothing there Next thing you know he ended it with me, totally ended it. Your appeal is that you loved him as much as he loved himself and that's the only real thing you had in common. I still think of him, sometimes daily. After ten days he started answer and said that i have the right of the trueth and would tell me the day after. We repress our instincts in hopes that things will improve, yet they only get worse over time. Yes, this recovery is certainly tough. It hurts and its much easier and feels exteme happy if i should react. I layed for houres in my bed thinking what to messages and read about N but he never respond. Wants the kids to see you both as friends. After all he loved the idea of you, complimenting his life he never loved you for you. I was virtually approached and aggressively followed-up with by a guy when visiting another city. For the life of me, I cant figure it out. or wherever he was getting his rocks offthat i couldnt tell youwell, admittedlyi flew into a rage and saw redthat night as he slept, i decidedly, without words, wanted to express to him my new found discovery of his hidden true colors by taking a large Vaseline Jar to his yummy treasures hed been enjoyingbc he certainly wasnt enjoying mei put on a glove and swabbed it with a huge goop of the greasy mixture and smeared it all over the inside of this gym bagYou might be saying to yourself, that was a little high-schoolish and immature and irresponsible, well maybe but I suppose i had reached a point of now return and this was my breaking point after years of abusebut in hindsight, he couldve killed me for pulling a stunt like thatI will never forget the 5am reaction while i lay motionless and breathless in my bedi heard him rise, get ready for his ritualistic morning routine for getting to the gym, the sound of movement became less vague, more pronouncedthen under-your-breath slurs shes a bitchheavy foot-steps, then a crash thru my locked bedroom doorgrabbed me out of my bed and thru me against the walltook both hands and smashed everything on my bureau mirrored vanityglass everywherethen looked me straight in the eye with his hands tightened around my neck and announces.your outta hereheavy abuse followed this incident which was planned and premeditated in getting me evicted from my home we shared even so far as to accuse my mental state, which i have to admit was affected by this mans abuse by pushing me past my limits which is what would happen to any sane person at the hands of a NARC like thisnot long after this occurred he set me up and had police arrest me under the guise i was a harm to myself and my child which he used as leverage and weaponry to execute his planhow sick someone could do this to another human being is beyond me while never being able to admit it is himself that is the damaging element in this volatile relationship, all along! More pain will come to you. She said, you know he is with a new lafy with kids lol. One wonders too how this fresh start would manifest for his little group of facilitating sidekicks maybe 4 or 5 other people who have acted more or less abusively in tandem with the narcissist would the fresh start to be exclusively with the narcissist or with this whole team is his offer the result of some consensus between these people that they all agree they have acted abusively and they are somehow sorry and wish to help repair the damage. So pretty sure this last year has been my growing beyond his crap year, so I could be strong enough to leave him in my dust. Once I tore off his mask, the abuse got worse. It may sound cliche, but when the person who has been abused is finally out of the relationship, they are so brainwashed, emotionally damaged, and hopeless that they feel they might not be able to go on. While I have engaged with him a few times on social media in the last year since that happened, he hasnt made any serious attempt to get back together with me, although hes alluded to being friends. On one of the sites the question had been if psycho women bring less ego into relationship, then psycho men, I wrote no and explained why. Also, the idea, that he fell right into the NPD diagnoses, but without the nastiness. And in my mind it feels like if he walks behind me or is somewhere els in the shop. Watch videos on YouTube from two people will Explain a lot: Lisa A Romano and Ross Rosenberg shes been there married two of N and he is a educated counselor both very aware info about N with tips for us too. Its one big mind game. I thought I lost a gold ring until seven months after discovering in a shop display for sale. Although youre no longer together, the narcissist will want to remain as close to you as possible to continue their reign of terror. Natural Remedies for Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder. To some extent I think there is the false assumption that people let themselves be treated badly and dont assert their boundaries. If you listen cafefully to what they say to you, they are actually telling you what they are and or what they are doing to you. Its eating me alive I dont like this person I became but he breaks me more and more, Thank you so much for this. [] Hoovering Creating the false illusion that he/she is sorry for their cruelty. They can be so sweet and giving when they want to, yet completely break your heart when it often matters most. . lol If I had replied to the song he would have been excited and asked for a call. The more on blast the narcissist is, the worse the blowback will be. Matt, I wanted to chime in, because I went through something kind of similar. He is just an empty shell. So u see, ur hope amd faith is a waste. Little old lady sweet talked the Lawyer. Guess it didnt matter to the police that I had marks all over my body and I was actually bleeding on my arm. Furthermore, if you are not referring to the image on this particular post, then you should send a document that is not macro-enabled, since these often contain viruses. Eden, in response to your question: I was responding to tiredofliars8 specifically (just in case you thought I was responding to you). Be strong and do not let anyone undermine or control you. Thanks for this insightful input, Healing . I said to see the kids? Did the narcissist ever tell you about exes in their past that they wanted nothing to do with? 3. They are so patient like a wild animal waiting to strike. I was still hurt about him going silent on me for six months (and not responding to my e-mail) but I was not searching for him online. And yes they can carry on affairs for many years without getting caught. Just within the last month Ive been able to come out of my house riding my bike taking walks and etc. Cut your losses. The reason you feel this way is not only because of how you were treated but because youve effectively internalized the way the narcissist has conditioned you to feel. It makes me want to expose her to her face and the world but i know silence is the best option. What this last year has done for me is start to see him for he really is and allow my love for him to begin to wither and die. I couldnt handle this so I blew up, he left me the second time over this woman, we divorced that year, he said he had fallen out of love with me because I had become this crazy non trusting woman, and I had hurt him to the poin that something had snapped inside. I am sane enough to get away from him and no longer put up with his narcissistic, messed up personality. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. Its just not fair. He recently was fired from his bar-tending job and had to crawl back to his old one and now will be asking Do you want white rice or pork fried rice with your Mongolian Beef as a waiter because he got DE-moated and is no longer working the bar. -A memory loss as to the actual happenings being discussed The claws they hook into you are insane. They want to check up on you []. I cannot describe the way he wrote me, how he behaved, all those words to make me feel so small. Yeah, getting closure is tough, for sure. Maybe you can meet a nice, pure girl in church. Its true, this kind of abuse does indeed cause very real physical symptoms. He texted saying he was glad he got to see me and for the most part enjoyed his time. So i have got to stay strong. A coward who will never know true love. Dont beat yourself up for breaking it the first time. The jab at your mental healthis rather nauseating. Please understand how much I wish that I could process this whole situation in a far clearer way than I have. If you get suspicious, they may cut off that contact again, at least temporarily. Its maddening. He told me he picked me on purpose to break his pattern of dating crazies. *head smack* Notice the opening paragraph where he manages to shoot down my family, my religious background, my summer job and my college friends in a few short sentences. He only told vicious lies about me and blamed me for his infidelity and drug use because I didnt or couldnt make him happy enough. He blocked ME from texting and calling first! My ex used to brag about how well he and his ex got along. Then we agree to have a LAT relation But he never visit me in my new home. Yeah rightI asked him the night he walked out what he wanted to do with that freezer and he told me to keep it. This website was how do you say it? (This is my second marriage to one and tired of their nonsense- good luck!). 1. Perhaps we had to cut off all communication without any conversation at all. Ok nw i feel miserable and have to take myself up. It's been a while since your breakup and things didn't end on a good note. I have learned SO much. Her voice sounded as though she never left high school. He knows i should drifting on pink clouds when he contacts me. For me it was nothing personal. Its only for a few months, a few, LONG months of sheer hell! We got back together and she told me it was over with the other guy because he had a temper and used drugs. And finally, I was stupid enough to let her borrow $3,000 to help her pay off her automobile. I had heard that Narcs dont know what they are but I think deep down they do. Block him and move on. I was the happiest woman of the world. Or the Terminator you cant reason with them, they feel no regret, they feel no remorse they are sick and the pieces of the puzzle will never been finished, they will destroy your very soul. Im sure this has been a tough time for you, and it has been for me as well. Never did it occur that I would, but heres my advice: Dont attack. If my mother had not walked in, what would have become of us? Has a woman ever had you in fear for your life and the life of your children purely by her brute strength? To try to avoid manipulating situations for my sole benefit and playing on peoples weaknesses, which I conceded Im fairly good at but no narc master. After a nice, balanced visit to his city for a few days, I returned home to relate to a very different person. I no longer care if hes thinking of me or not as I am moving on and doing so quickly. Making new friends etc. Remember, they start our trying to be what you want and then show their true colors over time. We could only dine at restaurants he went to with her family. To gain power, a narcissistic ex will try to convince others that you are the one who harmed them. After a nice, balanced visit to his city for a call receive. 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